So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
