you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
This toilet bowl is my home.
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