Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
