Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
