I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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