Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
