My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
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