When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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