Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
