I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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