omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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