I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
