I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
