I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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