We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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