Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
