if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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