I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
