OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
