So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
