girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
