I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
