playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
