Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
