and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
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