So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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