I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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