the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
