I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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