I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize