I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
4 words: hood of his car
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
