I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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