This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
