no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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