I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
