Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
