oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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