After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
