I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
