we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Randomize
