She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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