New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
