I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
