just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
