Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
