btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
