It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
