"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
