I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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