Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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