Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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