That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
