Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
