Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
