at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize