She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
