Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
