Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
