I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
