He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
