i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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