last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
