New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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