dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
