Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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