I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Houston, we have a squirter
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Randomize
